maggiesouth:

queen-phlox:

killerkerfuffle:

narwhals-in-space:

charlie-says-sloth:

swingingonthespiral:

PERFECT FOR ADVENTURING

Reblogged before but I don’t care. I want these.

me too also same in addition to.

perfect for the end of the world!

hold on while i prepare for the zombie apocalypse

where can I buy this?

(Source: tuffcutstv, via themanipulateddead)

conspicuouslad:

I read every one of these to my wife until she screamed at me to shut up.

(Source: iraffiruse, via thegeek531)

awwww-cute:

We were worried they wouldn’t get along

(via hihello-ccassandraa)

crusherccme:

found this gem in the 1996 Cornell Women’s Handbook. it’s what to say when a guy tries to get out of using a condom

(via thegeek531)

(Source: c0caino, via definitive)

(Source: 4lcohol, via uhohmarty)

dirtystorytime:

I’d love to stroke my cock directly over your waiting face. Would your mouth be open or would you try to lean towards me and taste me?

Would you be able to contain yourself. Or would you want my cock in you. In your mouth, in your hands, in your pussy… I’d force you to wait. I want to tease you. To stroke myself while you sat helpless, bound and restrained. You would be fully exposed so that I could tease wherever I wanted, and every sound you made would be met with a very stern “Silence,” from me.

I would stand over you, so that I could stare down into your eyes as I stroked. Not too quickly, just enough to keep myself hard and aroused for you. I would lie inches in front of you, push towards you to slide my cock between your pussy lips and rub your clit, only to pull away. I would watch as you twisted and contorted your body to try to make contact. To try to entice me to stimulate you. But I would do so only momentarily before pulling away again.

I need your desire to build. I need your cravings to go unfulfilled. I’d torture you. My pace would build. I would moan in your direction as I fingered your clit as I stroked. Or maybe I’d bite on a nipple or kiss you  while thrusting my cock away from you.

"Sit up for me, on your knees," i would order. I want you to look up at me, stare in my eyes. I want your mouth open, would you do that for me, would you be my good girl?

You won’t get my cock, but you will get my cum. And as I reach my peak and thrust my cock into my hand I will gush all over your face. Into your waiting mouth. You will lick hungrily at your own lips. After I have dripped my cum all over you I will finally relent and lower myself to you to clean me off. My satisfaction achieved, as your desires still ache.

Should I leave you like this until I am ready again, or will I lay below you to give you the release you so desperately desire?

Your fate will be left decided by just how good you have been that day… little girl.

(via dirtystorytime)